Engaged Citizen Pillows

The Russian Election.

'Any questions?. . . From anyone else?'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Couples' therapy

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

An informed voter is a good voter

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Unanimous voting.

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

US election postal vote controversy

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

50,000 BC: The First Engagement Ring.

'I know zero about the issue, so I can't be called a 'Washington insider'.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

'Does a blog count as being published.'

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

'We'd like to have a look at the decimation of public services in the area.'

Voter impatience.

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

Corrupt politicians,

"Do you, Ashley, take Nesbitt and his genome to be your husband?"

'My client doesn't wish to answer any more questions.'

'He joined the party in support of the police cuts.'