Endorsement Seeker T-Shirts

"Why couldn't my agent get me an endorsement deal with a wrist watch maker, like every other tennis player?"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Mod Kwan Doh

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Constructive Criticism 50c.

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"And this is my life support system."

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

Coffee, Snacks, and Encouragement.

And if you press that one, somebody will come in and tell you what a great job you're doing.

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

Amnesia Support Group: Meeting Today!

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"I love group...however, I don't feel that everyone honors my right to express my fears."

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'