End-times Artist Gifts

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

A Visit From The Procrastination Muse

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

Non Drip Paint

'You're not creating another thing till you've tidied your room!'

'We did some exciting things with tempera today.'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'I've got a tight schedule.'

"That's not a math lesson. That's just some notes to myself."

Social Networking Sites for the Unemployed

Yearbook photos from Miss Bubble's Hair Styling School.

Company watercooler with a sign next to it: Is This Trip Necessary?

Computer From Hell

11 Ways To Avoid Chapter 11.

Idlewild.

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'Well, we'd better review the tapes.'

"Pipe Dream"

"You are so organized!"

"He's always had a fascination with the hard drinking,hard living writer,the tortured genius. It's an image he's tried to emulate. Unfortunately he's only ever managed the first two parts." "I can't <hic> feel my face."

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

'You can take that off now.'

'Bugger!'

Just organizing them wasn't feeding my creative side.

"If think my sense of smell is returning."

Strikes notices a doomsayer on the picket line.

"Village church. Monday: Apocalypse. No bingo."

"Ogg is into high-def cave art."

"Tell the messenger I'm almost done with my sext."

A painter has painted himself into a tight spot and is stuck.