End Of The World Survivalist With A Twist Pillows

"Blackouts, fires, floods, bombs, droughts,earthquakes...reading this you'd swear the world is ending today..." "Not today! I have a spa appointment at one!"

'Thank-you God.'

Emergency Phone.

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

Just a little seasoning...

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

"No, I'm not building a raft. I'm building a double bed!"

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

Running out of Gas.

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Castaway harnessing electricity.

Drawing on an island.

"Keep in mind that it was put there by the sharks."

'Before you begin, I'd like to thank you for coming in early to do this on such short notice.'

Early detection was rarely helpful.

"I really hate sales meetings"

"Scotch and water, *hic* scotch and water..."

How to survive the coming crash.

"Yawning is contagious. If he starts, zap him with the laser pointer immediately!"

"I don't tell you how to gather."

"Listen, girl: It's been three days, we're lost and out of food. I need you to find a radio that has the Bruins game on ..."

'Check... weapons... maps... house-wife... clean underwear...'

"At least you have a tree."

Town follows the snow plough.

'I'll never use that travel agent again!'

"Judging by the survival gear, fishing pole and grill, I'm guessing he's an outdoor cat."

'It was great! I learned how to use dial phones, drive a standard transmission and cook without a microwave...'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know where 'this is'. I, too, am a stranger here.'

Notice on desert island - sand for sale

Shoveling Snow

"If the council is convened, I'd like to propose some measures to deal with the catastrophic change that has ravaged earth, leaving us a small band of scavengers."