Encouraging Artist T-Shirts

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

High Five

A Friend in Need.

If this is how 3-year-olds see the world, it's no wonder they're always crying."

Rodin's Irish Judge

'I take from this flood of faxes that your son is in art class.'

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

'My right brain isn't working.'

'Of course, I do have a very supportive wife.'

Pavement Art.

Junk Art

'Sit!'

"You paid 1000 words for this picture!?"

"You can over-encourage kids, you know."

Tuba Music

"Mother! Have you seem my reds? My yellows? My, for god's sake, my blues??"

'He got a grant on the condition that he stop painting for a year.'

'Hey, come on -- You've got to believe in yourself!'

An artist paints a tree using a nude model.

Ken Dodd

'Well it was fine on the straight but when it hit the last curve the cartoonist lost his perspective!'

"This show was made possible by a grant from Grandma."

"You were wonderful at the Gardners' last night, Fred, when you turned on the charm."

"The department has run out of money..."

Man steps off ledge of high-rise, walks on roofs of buildings.

'It says, 'Like many of the greats, he was a brilliant self-publicist.'

Young British Artists exhibition - "And this magnificent piece is by Tim Noble, and that bird he hangs around with."

Francis Bacon runs out of champagne and ideas

"We do a lot of amazing work bringing the arts to people who don't want the arts."