Encouragement Day Pillows

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

Ernie's not good at much else--- but he's the guru of self-acceptance. (Published originally on August 24, 2006.)

Change your style, learn to smile!

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

Happy.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

Collies Without Borders

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Emotional Bling

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I think it stopped breathing."