Empty Nest Syndrome Gifts

'Since the kids left home, Harold and I are thinking of looking for a smaller place.'

'I feel so empty since the kids left home.'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

Not-quite-empty-enough-nest Syndrome

'Honey it's time to let go and cut the cord. He's a man now! He's going to college for goodness sake!'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'Look - your Father and I are retired now and you kids will just have to vacate the premises.'

"This is a sad 'coming of age' movie? Like when you freaked out over your first gray hair?"

"Our son is off at college, so as a reminder of him, I keep a dirty sock-scented candle burning in his room."

"How do I know my parents want to kick me out of the nest?! They have a calendar and have circled the date!"

"You call yourself a pest removal expert? Well, my son is still living in my basement."

'I'm leaving, I want to see the world. I can't stay here and spend my life watching grass grow!'

"I can't believe you two broke up..."

'Another good thing about the empty nest, no more middle of the night surprises.'

"We've been empty-nesters for a long time now Dear, so this has to be a cuckoo egg..."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

HATCHED BACK LATER

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"We used to entertain a great deal."

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

I think it's time he left home.'

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

Empty Nester Apple Picking - "Not THAT one, you idiot!"

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"No need to push, Mother—I'm going."

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

'You let me out. What I do when I'm out is my business.'

"They grow up so fast."

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'