Employment Dynamics Critic Pillows

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Outer Space Outsourcing

Why markets crash.

"This is a company which is going places...."

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

Your position has been outsourced, Blue bottle...if you wish to continue working for us...may I suggest relocating and taking a 600 pay cut.

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Corporate Darwinism

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'Mr Clayton will see you first, Sir.'

"Brodkin, now that the economy is creating jobs at a faster than expected clip, why don't you go out and find yourself one?"

"So...what's the most important thing about working at Auto y Rod Inc.?"

"Remember unpaid interns are a renewable resource."

"Aw... I'm really sorry you're bored Jenkins. I wonder if I can rekindle your interest with some of this work you should be doing?"

"Looks like you're quite the wheeler and dealer... unfortunately we're only hiring movers and shakers."

'I love men in uniformity.'

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"Only I, am entitled to use ignorance as an excuse!"

"Any other skills besides having the ability to look busy?"

'What we need is another scandal that ends in 'gate'...to take people's minds off the unequal distribution of wealth issue.'

Yo Man

Will work for question marks.

"So you're looking for a well paid, non job - how about trying a government quango?"

Bernie Madoff

"This government has killed our chances of running a successful business on the high street. Not one customer all morning!"

'All this identity theft is making my job very difficult!'

'I need somebody just like the guy I fired.'

'I remember when I was high right-hand man.'

"What we're looking for is somebody of about twenty five with forty years' experience."

Job machine - old jobs and new jobs.

The buck stops here/Pass the buck.

'It's a privilege to work for us, so we charge a fee to work here. The good news is there's plenty of overtime.'

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'