Emotionally Enlightened T-Shirts

For 43 years, Hank had successfully stuffed every feeling he'd ever had, until,of course, the morning when Fred asked if he could borrow a paper clip.

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Pet a Puppy

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

Guru.

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

"Ever since the accident, I can't seem to get it together."

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"Krazy straw"

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

How are you feeling, Al? I couldn't be happier, Dr. Kapuchnik. Gee, that's great. No, I mean I wanted to be happier, but I couldn't.

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"Are we there yet?"

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

"The meaning of life? Funny you should ask."

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

Spirit of love

"Would it kill you to ask me how I'm doing once and a while?"

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

'I'm prescribing a ticket for a feel-good movie of the year.'