Emotionally Attached Biker Gifts

'I realize you'll miss your bike, but you're only leaving it for an hour. And please quit crying, people are starting to stare.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

You had me at vintage.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

French Early Bird

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

'I think we lost track of time. Our wives put out a missing persons report out on us, and half the state is looking for us.'

Dairy Devil

Milo dreamed that someday, somehow he was going to be a bad dog.

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

"You had me at hell."

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

'We're in a hurry.'

Uneasy Rider

'OK, here comes another one, and this time, I get the funny hat.'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Pensioners queue up for a Motorbike for Rent.

They were right, this is a tough bunker.

"Man, your old lady really is an old lady"

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

'Don't hate me just because I hate you.'

'I envisioned them praying to something entirely different.'

"I said our marriage was a 'go', Brenda. I didn't say it was a 'confirmed go'."

People looking worried, sad and angry wait at the Emotional Baggage Carousel

Real Time vs Emotional Time

What to do if the kids take away your car.

'The upside is that it will guarantee you get laid, the downside is that there's a four year wait.'

'She vacillates between PBS and PMS.'

Double Bike

"What is it about an unfavorable soccer outcome that makes me want to wreak immediate havoc in the streets?"

"I'm sorry, but shouldn't there be an apostrophe in that?"

"But that's the beauty of the game. At this very moment, your absurd vicarious defeat is being perfectly counterbalanced by some opposing fan's absurd vicarious triumph."

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."