Emotional Sports Supporter Pillows

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

'My feet are killing me.'

A man cheers

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

100k Desert Crawl

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

"Yes, I came back. I always come back."

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

Football Blockers.

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

Masochistic Soccer Fan

"Do you have any athletic tape?"

Cheerleaders from another planet

"Three falls, a knockout, a submission, or a note from your mother...."

"What is it about an unfavorable soccer outcome that makes me want to wreak immediate havoc in the streets?"

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

'Guys! Everyone yelling ‘What the hell' in unison is not my idea of team spirit!'

"But that's the beauty of the game. At this very moment, your absurd vicarious defeat is being perfectly counterbalanced by some opposing fan's absurd vicarious triumph."

"Okay everyone come and get your helmets and pads - players' sizes on the left, parents' on the right."

Counsellor for man on desert island

"Well, some of us were synchronized."

'Do you want someone to help you or do you just want someone to hold your hand?'

Referee trimming boxer's armpit hair.

"Sometimes, I wish we'd never invented football."

"C'mon sweetie—you're only as bankrupt as you feel."