Emergency Room Storyteller Mugs

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Being Serenading in Casualty

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

'Next.'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

CLEAR!

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

A&E Department: "Take a seat!"

'Be careful, Doctor Trefz, she doesn't like men!'

Surgical Operation.

'It appears you've arrived here because of some medical gobbledygook, so, to put it simply, you can now go home.'

"Hurry, she's starting to play in a minor key!"

"He fought like hell."

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are? Do you remember the accident? Do you know you had a hole in your underpants?"

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

"How do I get Nurse Jenkins to stop saying 'I told you so'?"

'The transplant went okay, but your insurance company is rejecting the bill.'

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."

"We have male patient coming in who has a large parsnip stuck up his colon!"

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

'Nurse Nodnik will be live blogging the operation.'

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

Emergency

"If our ambulance hadn't hit you, you might be waiting ten or fifteen minutes for another one."