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'Next.'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Being Serenading in Casualty

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

First aid departments

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'Is it urgent?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Out of Emergency into Doctor's Lounge

"Thanks for coming in to work on such short notice."

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

CLEAR!

Operation/Grim Reaper

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

Extreme sports injuries ward.

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

Using a Defibrillator a paramedic can tell if Pinocchio is lying.