Emergency Room Entertainer T-Shirts

"Hurry, she's starting to play in a minor key!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Extreme miming"

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

Downloading Pregnancy

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Saline Drip Sommelier.

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

Being Serenading in Casualty

"Gross."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

Medical Equipment profit chart.