Embracing Home Life T-Shirts

In and Stay the F**k In

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Dog Walking Services

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Hungry child

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Man's best friends."

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'