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"Mmm, Spam."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

Showbiz Awards

Zombie standup

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Out and In.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown on bike.

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Extreme miming"

"We're following Carrot Top."

The Rooster Comedian.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

A Guide to Balloon Animals

Comedy Cafe

Cow Show Tunes

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"That'll be five bucks."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Bravo!"