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"Mmm, Spam."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Out and In.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown on bike.

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Extreme miming"

The Rooster Comedian.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Comedy Cafe

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"That'll be five bucks."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Cow Show Tunes

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Clown God

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."