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"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Postwar is hell."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

Can't even hold signs well.

The Female Brain and The Other One

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"What a sad species humans are!"

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

Couple

'To foster a sense of trust, I always like to end each session with a group hug.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

Bring your problems to work day.

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

'What's the point of suffering from depression if nobody notices?'

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

"This is the time of year when you begin to appreciate the 'Time's' fuller coverage."

Unhappy clown.

Human Rights

'Believe me, I understand.'

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

"I see your thirty. I hear your thirty. I validate your thirty."

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

STRIP *Community Care * Office rage"

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

No safe haven

"Now I'm well, I miss my doctor."