Elevator Rides Pillows

'Okay folks, this is as high as we go.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

Going Down?

Thumbing a Lift.

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Elevator charge $1.00.

The guy who got in on the ground floor

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

Muzak's Top 10

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

Santa Elevator

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

A Fork-lift.

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

'Going up?'

"This thing is so slow!"

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"Do we look like we're going up?"

"What does it look like? I'm running a little late this morning."

Elevator. Up, down and dirty.

'You can't use the elevator as guestroom!'

'Funny place to put an esculator.'