Electricity Efficiency Pillows

"Opening the window even a crack will end your life as a free man. Otherwise, it's safe."

"Looks like we found the issue."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Time Is Money

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

The Not-So Smart Meter

Inout baskets.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

AA Meeting Here Today

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'Working on my computer save me loads of spare time. To do more stuff on my computer.'