Electrical Troubleshooting Prints

You Are Here on the wiring diagram

A young Don King

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

Where was I?

Dummies Books.

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

Kevin had a computer virus.

"I think we could work very well together."

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

Wha about trying another antivirus?

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"Turn down the bass."

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

Cut out and keep your own IT expert.

'The computer's down again.'

'It's one of those viruses that corrupt every damn thing.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

"She's also the only one who knows how to unjam the copy machine."

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

'The computer mentions 'virus' but I'm not sure whether it's in the software or you.'

Prehistoric Clocks.

"Kick the machine"