Elderly Enjoyer Of Humor Prints

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"Why bother?"

You can't get what up

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Birthday To-Do List

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

James Bond: Senior Years.

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"How's your memory?"

'You are always living in the past!'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'It's my prostate.'

Bus. Routes. Time used to be on my side, now it's at my back and pushing.

"It's the Florida kid."

You know you're getting old...when your mobile phone rings and you start taking photographs of your ear.

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"Kick me"

"It's beer flavored prune juice."

Old Men on Rockers.

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

'A gang of senior citizens was arrested today for harassing freshmen....'

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

How Fatherhood Affects Belt Height: Father/Grandfather/Great Grandfather.

Proud to be a senior citizen and Just give me my damn discount T-Shirts.