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How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Why bother?"

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Remote Control Duck

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Medication for the elderly

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

Checking for signs of life.

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

You need a new reading light

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

'At least you're not going to have to worry about your denture adhesive anymore.'

Lost and forgotten department

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'