Egotistical Comedy Liker T-Shirts

"Have you ever known anyone famous?" "I have." "I've always been great friends with Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." "What? That's you." "Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they should know you." "Hey, you all over there! You know me!" "You don't carry things with your mouth."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Conservation Area

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Moulin Rouge Security

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

"A haand gel...!?"

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

All-Verbal Westerns

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Hi,Honey - I'm Homeboy."

'Freedom is nice, but I miss the Circus for the applause and the three square meals a day...'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

Marcel Marceau's parrot