Egotist Enthusiasts Pillows

'But enough about me. . . tell me about yourself.'

Others will fight for you

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

'He started it!'

How Trickle Down Economics Work

The Boss.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

How does it feel to always be the smartest guy in the room, Dr. Kapuchnik? Usually, it feels pretty good. In this particular case, it feels like I'm cheating.

"You think I would have sunk forty thousand clams into this lemon if I had known they were coming out with a nine-dollar boner pill?"

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

Masochism for stockholders.

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

Arguing with Edna was enough to make the brain fly out of any logical man.