Egotism Enthusiast Pillows

Special Person Statue

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol weight, and self importance are all too high.'

Others will fight for you

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

'He started it!'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

The Boss.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

"You think I would have sunk forty thousand clams into this lemon if I had known they were coming out with a nine-dollar boner pill?"

'OK, now you've seen it...'

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

Arguing with Edna was enough to make the brain fly out of any logical man.

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

"In short, then, I'm looking for a job that matches my sense of entitlement!"

The great and near-great

Mixed marriage: food fight

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"And, for God's sake, don't let anyone finish my novel!"

'It has to be understandable, Higbe. A code of ethics is not actually to be written in code.'

Descartes's Demon