Ego Jester Mugs

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

"Remember, Jeremy, thou art immortal."

'Get some ice! His ego is swollen!'

"He's been impossible ever since his promotion."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Drunk Barber

Yawning barristers in court

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Justice

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I got probation."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'