Egg Experimenter Pillows

Husband makes breakfast

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Cookbooks

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Before/After

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'Superstock'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

WHACK!

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

The Inexperienced Cook

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"How she's able to manage a career and still juggle her family, I'll never know."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

To the office...happy Easter, from Sid.

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

Egg Buggy

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."