Efficiency Aficionado T-Shirts

Desk bins: Errors of Commission/ Errors of Omission/ Innovative Combinations of Both

"How would you rate this mugging, on a scale of one to ten?"

Subway Organizer

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

"The efficiency expert we hired says we're spending way too much money on efficiency reports!"

'I really lose patience with people who moan all the time about their supposed 'workloads'.'

"We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff who we employed to improve efficiency."

"Goodbye, masked consultant. And thanks for reducing our inefficiencies."

Where your mind & battle are los

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Maybe clean out your wallet

Late/Too Late.

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

Motivation to work

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Failure/Due Diligence

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work