Educator With A Twist Pillows

'I had an overwhelming urge to be nice again. I think I need a holiday.'

Lack History Month

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

Onion operation.

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

'For the next hour, hold all calls. I'll be practicing tumbling. I have to learn to roll with the punches.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

Dog Anatomy from Memory.

"Shows you how much I know."

Benjamin Franklin

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

"I'm Miss Jones, your History-As-I-See-It teacher."

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

'He specializes in funny bones.'

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

Goodbye Party Today - Prof Whiley is Retiring to Spend More Time with his Inner Child.

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

'This is great - what an idea! I can do a unit on gravity and the laws of motion for science class!'

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

"It's a GPS app for busy teachers, it tells you whether you're going or coming."

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"