Education Worriers Prints

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Studying and technology

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

Do we have to know all the letters? I don't use them all when I text.

Banned Books

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'Come on. It's time to wage education.'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

"That's the parents' section."

"My dad's going to be upset about that "D" on my research paper. He worked all night on it."

''Increase education funding'? -- You want the people to get SMART?'