Education Milestone Prints

"How come Jasper's mutual fund is up twelve per cent and mine's only up eight?"

"Six years of university followed by 14 years of postgraduate studies. You here for a job, or a seniors discount card?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Pilot with champagne.

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Tenacity trumps everything!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

Space for Lease.

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

Sparkler

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

"he's out of the woods and resting comfortably in a sunlit glade."

It was time for Junior to learn to fly.

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

'Don't you think he's a little to young to take up fishing, Ralph?'

"Great first glide son! Oh, by the way, remind me to teach you how to land tomorrow..."