Education Advocate T-Shirts

'...how are you ever going to text.'

The Berlitz Guide to Parent-Teacher Conferences

"Hmm...I think we can include the drug awareness program, the anti-bullying initiative, sex-ed instruction and values awareness, but we're going to have to cut math, reading and science."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

First addition, then subtraction, then multiplication, and now this! Where is it all going to end?"

In-Service Seminars for Teachers

Underage pregnancy.

'I presume you're the substitute teacher?'

"You lie!!"

'Take this mission statement back to the committee and tell them to rework it. I'd like it to mention education.'

'Yes, I am bilingual. I speak English and Computerese.'

'My name is Phylis O'Furr. My students call me Miss Philosopher, because I tell them that inside every 'D' student is an 'A' student trying to get out.'

'We're thinking of settling down here -- do you folks have bilingual education?'

'Today, class, we learn how to divide 25 books among 34 students.'

'My class can't wait to start multiplication. I made them sign a pledge never to use it for evil purposes.'

'Yes, I did accept an apple from my third-grader, Billy Smith, but there was no quid-pro-quo.'

"I don't know cursive and you don't know emoji. I'd say that makes us even."

'Don't worry about Tommy. 5 out of 3 kids his age can't do fractions.'

"No, I'm not in trouble. My mom's here being tutored so she can help men in Common Core math."

'We need to learn this just incase our calculators or computers are down, right?'

I can't read but I have excellent Television viewing skills

'Ask mom for Paulo's Alphabet Soup, Tell her it's educational,'

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

Educators try to keep public education away from school vouchers and charter schools.

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

'Can we 'dumb it down' a bit, Mrs. Whipplemore?'

Shark to fish about school of fish: 'School of choice.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Tsk! I don't recall reading anything about that!'

'If your parents want you excused from tomorrow's film on pollination, you'll need a note from home.'

School board inquisitor asking a man if his children attend school

'No offense, but by the time we're in the job market, won't that stuff be obsolete?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

Pupil to teacher "Miss, I/m finding it hard to concentrate with the rats nibbling at my books"

"How much is that in years of tuition?"