
Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.
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Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.
'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'
America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes
'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'
"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."
"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."
"Can you read the part about Job again?"
"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."
'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'
Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'
"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."
Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people
"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''
Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."
"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."
The Decline of the Euro.
'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'
Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.
"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."
Leaking Hudson River paintings.
'For the economy to improve we're counting on a 'trickle down' from the super-wealthy to the wealthy.'
'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'
'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'
Euro Problems
An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.
"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."
"We're making progress."
In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.
Perfection Troubleshootors.
The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.
"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."
'Line up for your economic recovery treatment!'
"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."
"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."
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