Economy Enthusiast Pillows

"I've hedged against inflation and I've hedged against deflation, but price stability could knock me for a loop."

"Today, stocks dropped on news the new federal reserve chief, Janet Yellen, is a 'rookie'."

Bank - Going out of business sale!

"The Fed today explained the reason they raise interest rates is so they can lower them again..."

Despite recent uncertainty, analysts said today they will continue to make predictions.

'I just got back from Wall Street.'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

'I kind of miss inflation. It was a great excuse to ask for a raise.'

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

Past Performance in No Guarantee of Future Results.

Bottle of pills labelled 'Global Recovery Capsules,' with 'Warning: May cause inflation, deflation, nausea, panic attacks. Use caution when mixing with optimism, stocks, bonds.'

'As you can see the market forecast is quite loopy in the next quarter.'

'I think I see the problem,,,'

"We'll have an economic forecast in a minute, Mr. Snell. We're just crunching the numbers now."

'They stopped making excuses. It's cheaper to import them.'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'The stimulus package doesn't seem to be working,'

The first green shoots of recovery.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

'Good thing I'm wearing my adult diapers.'

"When European workers are losing their jobs because of an Asian stock market crash - that's the meaning of 'Globalization'."

'Albert, it was just a nightmare! Believe me, there's no taxman-monster under the bed!'

How inflation works. . .

'Do you realize we're all getting richer by charging each other more?'

R.I.P. American Manufacturing Jobs.

'Actually, we were planning to use the money to buy a box of cereal.'

Office of Management and Budget and Mandatory Cuts

Famous Last Words

"No one talks in millions anymore."

'Well what a coincidence! I'm a financial regulator too!'

'The nice thing about America is, no matter how the economy is doing, you can always blame the Chairman of the Federal Reserve.'

Laughing all the way to the bank.

'I'd call security but I think this is a good sign.'