Economical Entertainment Pillows

"I don't want to do something fun for free, I want to do something fun we pay for."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Champagne

"Extreme miming"

Television Readers.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

The Rooster Comedian.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

Cow Show Tunes

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Bloody hell!"

Cord cutter

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference