Eco-narrative Enthusiast Pillows

"So basically, it's an autobiomeoirography!"

The Environmentalist

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I love you too, big guy."

'I admire your floatibility.'

God's Subcontractors

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Eco Princess

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

Honest Vending

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"I think we have run out of time..."

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

Noise Pollution

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

Climate Change

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?"

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder