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'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Please take your receipt!'

The ten ammendments

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Church restrooms

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Finger puppets in church.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Eucharist

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

Jesus and the Peeps

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Pre-nuptual Nativity

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Conclave.

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Nativity - The sitcom

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector