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'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

The ten ammendments

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

'Please take your receipt!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Church restrooms

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Finger puppets in church.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Pre-nuptual Nativity

Jesus and the Peeps

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Conclave.

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Nativity - The sitcom

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Eucharist

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector