Easy Life Admirers Pillows

"Over all, I think my life is stagnating in the right direction."

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

Hombre's Best Friend.

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

"Let's make this our last celebrity cruise."

Western Philosophy

'According to this, my coffin should be facing the south side of the crypt.'

"Bravo! Way to stay relevant, Gary."

'That would be way embarrassing.'

'Because it's the only thing that still whistles at me. That's why I keep it.'

'Janis, I've sustained a paper cut. Do we have any hundreds in petty?'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

"They'd probably be more fun if there were air holes in the barrel."

"The Snout? What For? We've got everything we want right here."

Cartload of Boisterous Cockneys Tipping a Gentleman's Hat

'Do you have to make that slurping sound when you eat?!'

'Relax. It's summertime and the living is easy.'

Godzilla has a traffic light caught in his toes.

A chicken draws a happy face on an egg.

"Why did the farmer cross the road?"

Flying duck planes on wall of house near airport.

"You know, I'm happy in my world of low expectations."

Crikey cat - the streets aren't paved with gold at all - it's chewing gum!

"No, I don't have to sneeze - I'm making a phone call."

Bed, Bath & Younder

You writers must have an easy life, I've often thought I'd have a bash myself if I had a bit of spare time.

'Caution this hill is dangerous.'

Slow - Adults

'Go ahead...make my hay!'

Don't care bear.

"The tumble weed probably set it off."

'What ever happened to whittling?'