Earnings Evaluator Gifts

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'I received matching offers.'

'It wasn't until Picasso realzed he was earning $2,856 per hour that he began painting all night.'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

Valuation of Heaven

"Has it been in your family long?"

IRS. I made less money this year than last year because I spent six months filling out my tax form!

"I think it's an early version of facebook."

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

'You say here you're a people person.'

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

'I hope I'm not embarrassing you when I say that I found your company's latest earnings report very sexy.'

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

'Another stupid ball of string. I was hoping for a tablet."

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

'His horse came in at 100 to 1 - last!'

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

I tried to make ends meet but I'm a poor judge of distance. Due now. Bill. Bill. Due. Due now.

"Some people think it's as valid as testing our teachers."

'Felton,has it occured to you that you may have taken a talent for self-effacement a bit too far?'

'Simms might be overextending himself.'

Happy As Larry

"Don't sit on the fence, Carmen! Honestly... What are your candidate's chances?"

'It takes a very special administrator to admit he was wrong.'