Early Childhood Milestones Mugs

"He's cut two teeth."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"When did she start crawling?"

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

One!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Early childhood development

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Dominant hand reveal party

Sparkler

'We think he has a future in politics.'

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'What do you think you're up to?'

'You've failed to reach your performance targets,we'll have to let you go.'

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

'Forget it, Jeb. This see-saw is broken.'

'My grandson has been walking from an early age. . . Oh yes, in fact, by the time he was two he'd been walking three years.'

Baby crying in cot being put on 'pause' by Mum with a remote