Childhood Milestones Mugs

"Can I call you back? I'm creating happy memories of my childhood for my father."

'I'd like to, Debbie, but my mom says I can't get married until at least after I learn my multiplication tables.'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"My dad wants me to have all the things he never had, and he never had a pony."

Roger Ebert as a kid 'I know God gave me a gift. I just don't know what it is yet.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

Drop your Daughter Off at Work Day

"I am standing up straight."

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'What do you think you're up to?'

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

"Austin's birthday party was fun, but it wasn't eFun."

Mr Noisy

"Don't worry, I'll invite everyone but him to your birthday party."

Blue Balloon

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Sparkler

Eagle parenting.

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Dominant hand reveal party

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'