Early Bird Humorist T-Shirts

"And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too."

Late Sleeper.

"Yeah, mom. Ed's up before sunrise to fix the sink. So here I stand at the crack of dawn."

Future garbage truck driver.

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Toast: the high energy food

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

New York Scatological Society

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'Take me to your feeder,'

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"Hey, it's 5 a.m. somewhere, am I right?"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Hen Night

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Mine is a dairy farmer: He's up way before dawn every day..."

"Your boss wants you in early for WHAT?"

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

'Good morning!'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

Airport security - next step?

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

"You should have been here at eight o'clock."

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'