Dry Humor Lover T-Shirts

"I'll be starting my presentation soon, if anyone wants to kill themselves would they do it now!"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Dead Funny

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Crap from the future.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Pastries and Candy

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Housekeeping?!"

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

The Reaper's Arms

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

Life and Death

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Roadkill cookies"

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