Drunk Test Comic Appreciator Gifts

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Conservation Area

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Moulin Rouge Security

All-Verbal Westerns

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

"A haand gel...!?"

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"Play dead!" "What a long strange trip its been..."

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Hi,Honey - I'm Homeboy."

'Freedom is nice, but I miss the Circus for the applause and the three square meals a day...'