Drink Deal Hunter Prints

I have to tell you: I preferred "buy one, get one free" night. Tuesday is "tall bartender, short bar stool" night.

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

"Hey! Why did you turn off the news?"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'The King of what?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

Online Shopping.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

Unusual Offers

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

Whiskey wars

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.