Downsizing Dramatist T-Shirts

"At last! They've begun downsizing the top level."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Scarpia from Tosca

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

Tosca stabs Scarpia

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

Samuel Beckett

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

House sale.

Nikolai Gogol

"I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people."

I Pagliacci

Trilby - The 'Rosemonde' of Schubert.

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

"I play the husband, but am promised a speaking part next time."

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

"But first, if it please the court, Brunnhilde's farewell to Siegfried from 'Gotterdammerung.'"

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"What will change my life?"

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

"Jane's internal monologue is 'Hamlet'."

'I'm leaving this damn job at the end of the month.' - 'How did you find out?'

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

"I can't approve of your office gossiping, Frank...and after you tell me the latest I want it to stop!"

Now squeeze sharply five times - that should dislodge the tip from his coat pocket.

"I haven't had the heart to tell him vaudeville's dead."

"Here are Monsieur Limace, our sommelier, Monsiere Juron, chef de Cuisine and Mr Kruigshenk, specialist for the beheading of breakfast eggs."

'I'm five, but I can play three to seven and a half.'

"I'd like something smaller – something with fewer walls to defend."

Lucia di Lammermoor