Doorstep Defender Mugs

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

No Soliciting

A Change of Scene.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'Remember not to shirk the paperwork.'

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

Man with Sword in Penholder

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Job Stress.

'Curiosity'

'I am an unhappy employee.'

'Herbert's security hookup lets him make sure no one took over his desk while he's on vacation.'

"You're closer. You get it."

"This is probably how they keep getting in."

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

Visiting the Opera

Snail Peephole

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

Door to door salesman sees sign: 'We have everything.'

Coming soon: Compulsory auction because of unpaid mortgage

Pest Control

'This has been taking up all of my time.'

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'