Doorstep Dater T-Shirts

"Thanks for a nice time. I'd ask you in, but the man of the house will just put you out again for the night."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Sexual chemistry set

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

'Let's do lunch.'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Single men in Tahiti

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Wanna do lunch?"

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"I refuse to squabble in public until we're legally married."

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

"I'm so shallow."

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'You must be Olivia.'

"You're closer. You get it."

"So tell me again where you're from."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

'Would it be too forward of me to give you a tweet?'