Doorstep Chatter T-Shirts

'That's it now, Mrs. Baines - see you in the New Year!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Marshmallows

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'Dog got your clog?'

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

One giant bark for dogkind.

Bertie Wooster type teaching a parrot to talk

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"You're closer. You get it."

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Look at that spread. Some fish have it so good.'

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

'Hello, Madame, we'd like to talk to you about cod...'

'This looks like a really hot piece of gossip, Edna!'

Ramblers Association

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

Gathering to Gossip at Recycling Point

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

Lou's Barber Shop Discussions

"We seem to have a lot more time together since George started working from home."

"How come you never hang out by the fence anymore?"

'Anyway. It's been nice, but I can't stand here chatting all day.'

'When are you going to cook dinner, it's almost time for breakfast?'

'Is it just me, or are these summers getting hotter? '

'We just stopped by to say hello.'

"What TV programmes do you like?"

"I always thought it was over the fence gossip, not insider trading."

'You should've called first - given me a chance to not be home.'

"Harold, it's another door to door salesman."

"Excuse me, but on weekdays at 4 A.M., my wife and I are not so much into the pop music."

'I welcome newcomers - They bring a breath of fresh gossip into the community.'

"Where are you off to then Phil?"

Almost, but not quite, welcome.

"She's like a river - small head,big mouth!"