Doorkeeper Pillows

Visiting the Opera

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"I didn't spark joy."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"I had to skip my workout."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Cook and her Maids

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

Bathroom Fairy

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

The household cavalry

TV and cleaner

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

Upper West Side Story

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'